How to Teach Honesty Without Shaming: Gentle, Effective Strategies That Build Trust
- Glenn Fletcher
- Dec 23, 2025
- 1 min read
Nothing stings more than catching a child in a lie—and your first instinct is to punish. But punishment actually makes kids better liars.
The research is clear: shame erodes trust; curiosity builds it.
Try this script next time:
“I notice the markers are missing and you said you didn’t take them. It’s okay to make mistakes. What would help you feel safe telling me the truth right now?”
Follow up with restorative practices:
→ Child draws or writes what happened
→ Practices a repair (note of apology, helping clean, etc.)
→ You praise the honest moment specifically
Auto-B-Good’s Truthfulness episode with Johnny and Maria is gold here—the cars face real temptation and learn telling the truth feels better than any cover-up. Teachers tell us this one episode cuts lying incidents in half because kids want to be like the characters.
Get the Honesty lesson in the Trustworthy Virtue:
